I feel like an ass

I have a little problem.

A little over a month ago one of my buddies had an end of summer bash. Lots of people and a keg of Blue Moon. I had a little too much to drink which is actually something I almost never do. I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually been drunk. Anyway, the crowd kept dwindling until there were maybe 5-6 of us left at the house. At about 2 am or so, the host decided to break out the Jose Cuervo and pass it around. First of all, straight tequila burns like nothing else. Second, tequila on top of an almost drained keg is a bit much. Somehow I ended up thinking that not wearing pants would be fun. I stand up to get of the couch and next thing I know, I'm naked. Leave it to your friends to yank off your boxers. Anyway, that's not exactly the point I am getting to.

We decided it would be a grand idea to go to Perkins at 3 am. Six of us in a smallish four door was a stretch but we made it work. I was sitting in the back with 3 other guys. 2 of the girls rode in front, the 3rd laid on our laps in the back. Somehow, I don't know how this started - I sure the hell didn't initiate it - but I ended up making out with this girl on the trip to Perkins. To make matters worse we ended up being stuck at the railroad tracks waiting on a train for a good 5 minutes. Yeah, drunken gay guy making out with a girl in the backseat of a car while in the presence of 4 others. Speaking of being drunk, I'm still mildly impressed with myself that I was able to be drunk and not do anything stupid like hit on the guy that stayed the entire night who I thought was cute.

The problem is that this group of friends does not know that I am gay. I really am still in the closet save for my roommate. This girl lives with my buddy and his wife right now, which means that we have hung out a few times. She calls occasionally just to chat. Now there are plans to go to a college hockey game in a city a couple hours away. It would be just the 4 of us. I would really like to go but I am worried about leading this girl on. She has no idea that I am gay and I'm not ready to come out to my friends yet. I'm pretty sure that this girl has feelings for me and I do not want to hurt her at all. I've come to like her in the short time we've known each other, but I know that things will get awkward.

You would think I would know better how to handle this. I haven't had a single close or relatively close female friend who hasn't had feelings for me at one time or another. It used to be that I could just start dating a girl, or point out that I had a girlfriend if she didn't know and that was the end of it. I can't really do that now since I obviously do not have a girlfriend.

Damn it. Sometimes I think that alcohol is evil and swear that I am going to become a teetotaler.