The weekend

On Saturday I took a 4 hour road trip with my mom to see one of my cousin's college football games. She had asked me if I was interested in going about a month ago and I thought that it would be fun. The trip went pretty well, even though they lost the game. It's been a good three years since I've been to a college football game, so it was a lot of fun to be at one again.

On the way home my mom decided to ask a few questions. One was about what I characteristics and qualities I was looking for in a girlfriend. I started to answer some general things like honesty, integrity, some sense of financial responsibility, sense of humor, etc. I could almost feel as though I was being to vague and that she wanted to say something. I decided to throw in how important it was to evaluate whether I thought that SHE would be a good mom. How HER relationship is with her close family, since my family is all really close. I felt bad having to lie that I thought my future would include someone of the opposite sex.

My mom commented that she was reading between the lines and was picking up that one of my important qualities was the ability to be a good mom. She asked if this meant that now I was planning on having kids. For the past couple years I've made the comment that I'm not sure if I will even get married - mostly jokingly - or so at least everyone thought. I had also said that I would never have kids. I suppose this was my way of maybe preparing my family for the fact that I wasn't going to have the beautiful wife, 2.2 kids, perfect house and everything else that you would expect. At least this time I didn't have to lie when I said that I wasn't sure if I wanted kids yet. That will have to wait I suppose until I find the right guy.

This conversation just made me realize that while I am not yet ready to let my family in on the fact that I am gay, I may just be getting closer to that day.